


Never Gonna Catch Me

by charleeluciano



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Creepy bar guy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Sibling Bonding, This is mainly about Mickey and Mandy not going to lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 12:44:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2348858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleeluciano/pseuds/charleeluciano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn't even fucking want to be here. It was all Mandy's fault. It was her birthday last week, and she wanted to go out to a club with some of her friends, and with 2 packets of cigarettes and a case of beer, she had bribed Mickey to come as protection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Gonna Catch Me

He didn't even fucking want to be here. It was all Mandy's fault. It was her birthday last week, and she wanted to go out to a club with some of her friends, and with 2 packets of cigarettes and a case of beer, she had bribed Mickey to come as protection for herself and the girls. So here he was. Sitting at the bar of a "more like a strip club than a dance club" type place, casually sipping on his second drink, watching one of the dancers on the podiums. He -yes _he_ \- was gorgeous. Watching him, Mickey was already stressed. Worrying about being caught by anyone at any time is not one of those things you should be feeling when you are all but perving on a very attractive, very undressed male dancer at a strip-dance club. Because of that niggling fear that someone might notice his excessive staring, he looked away at regular intervels. No one paid any attention to him though. As they should.

"Hey sweetheaaaart" a man drawled out behind him, ghosting his hands on Mickey's hips. Mickey spun around, swatting the man's hands off him and preparing to punch this guy into fucking paralysis.

"Woah, woah! Calm down there ace!" The man put his hands up in defeat, "I just wanted to say hello!"

"Try to be less off a fuckin' rapist when you say hey. Might work out better for you, shithead." Mickey shouted back, turning away from the man who was taller than him, in his 30s or so, not old but much older than Mickey, and sporting a dark suit with his top buttons undone to just the right amount to be classed as a mega douchebag, verging on just an A-grade asshole having a bad day.

The man kept persisting, walking to Mickey's front.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across like that. I just saw you and i thought you were absolutely gorgeous and might fancy a fuck later?"

Mickey choked on his drink, swallowing, coughing and spluttering. "You _what_?"

He slid forward, forgetting about his crusade to try and be "sorry" and rubbed his hand up and down Mickey's outer thigh.

"I just thought-" Mickey scrambled to get this fuckers hand off him. "-that you might-"

The man was quick and moved his hand from Mickey's outer thigh to his crotch. "-want to fuck me."

Just before Mickey got the chance to break this guys hand, wrist and all over, he felt someone put an arm on his shoulder."Um, excuse me. What do you think you're doing touching my boyfriend?"

Mickey spun around to see who this fucking poser was to find the ginger god of the podium. _Yeah okay_ Mickey told himself. He relaxed into Eros' very naked chest and let himself fall into the act.

"Your boyfriend's hot, ace. You guys up for a threeway?" Mickey stepped forward go knock this guy into tomorrow but Cupid held him back. "Get the fuck out of here before I call security" ginger god told him.

The man reluctantly walked off. He waited a good 20 seconds before he felt ginger relax and step back from him. "Sorry about that," he told Mickey and fuck Mickey was already fucked. Royally fucked.

"You played along well." He stuck out his hand in introduction. "I'm Ian" Mickey took it, stating his name.

"Hey, let me buy you a drink or something." Ian told him.

"Uh, no thanks."

"Oh" Ian's face dropped. "Okay. Well uh..." He fished around behind the bar and found what he was looking for, a pen and a napkin, scrawling down his number and handing it to Mickey. "If you ever change your mind, give me a buzz." He flashed a smile at Mickey and then just like that he was gone.

Another few uneventful hours went by and then Mickey was walking his sister, who may or may not have been absolutely hammered, back home.

"AYYYY Mick!" She shouted, he shushed her. "Mick" she whispered. "Who was that hot guy you were talking to?"

"Dunno" he offered by way of response.

"You dunno his name?"

"Nope"

"Mickeeeeyy" she singsonged. "I know about you. You don't have to lie to meee, Mickeeey"

"Lie about what?" He feigned confusion. She huffed a laugh then burped.

"Just that you're incredibly gay and you think you keep it a good secret." He took a breath, figured she wasn't going to remember anything when she woke up and told her

"Ian... His name is Ian. And I have his number." She squealed and he shushed her again.

"You should call him"

"No." He said.

"You don't want to? I'LL FUCKIN' CALL 'IM!" She shouted, grabbing at his pocket trying to find the napkin with Ian's number.

"MANDY! Shut up!"

"Sorry!" she whispered and giggled again, still trying to find the number.

"Mandy! Man- MANDY!" She looked up like a child, just realising that the game really was over.

"Cut it out." He told her, continuing to walk, not looking at her.

"Fuuuck. You really like him don't you?"

"Mandy" he warned.

"No really, Mouse. You really do don't you?"

"I don't even know him!" She snorted.

"Riiiight. Whatever. You want to keep being all up in a cloud of sexual frus..." She stopped, thinking of the word, decided she couldn't care less and continued "-Thingo. Then you be my guest."

At that, they crossed through the "fence" of the Milkovich house. Mickey all but dragged Mandy up the stairs and brought her into his room.

"Why am I here?" She asked too loudly.

For the nth time, Mickey told her to "shut the fuck up, oh my god you're so fucking loud!"

"Why am I-" burp "- Why am I in your room?"

"Because you're gonna want to be as close the bathroom as you can get, shut the fuck up and go to sleep." He rummaged through his drawer and found the lost ipod she had given him for his birthday, grabbed his broken headphones and plugged it into the stolen charger in Mandy's room.

He fell asleep in her bed, after tossing up between the most sleep appropriate song or the loudest, settling on one and drifting off. The next morning, Mickey woke up to a text,

_**Doing anything this afternoon? Ian**_

to which Mickey fired back a text:

_**how did u get my number** _

He got up, open the door to his bedroom, saw Mandy asleep on the bathroom floor through the open door and left to the kitchen. Iggy was asleep on the couch with a girl and his dad was sitting at the table cleaning a gun. He popped a slice of bread into the toaster and sat up on the kitchen bench.

"Get your ass off the fucking bench." Terry mumbled, not looking up from what he was doing. Mickey ignored him, waiting for his toast to pop up. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

_**Mandy sent me a text last night. She must be fucked up. Her spelling was real bad.** _

Mickey _almost_ let himself smile, he might have if it wasn't for the fact that Mandy had taken the napkin out of his pocket the fucking bitch. He'd get her back later, after he had planned something.

_**passed out in the bathroom. she deserves it** _

Mickey sent back, grabbing his toast and walking out the door and sitting on the porch, eating breakfast.

_**Tough love in your house?** _

_**not even** _

He took a bite of his toast and waited a few minutes before getting another text from Ian.

_**Anyway! You carefully dodged my question. What are you doing tonight?** _

Mickey took a deep breath and his head just screamed  _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ on repeat.

**_i don't do dates_ **

It was for the best after all. Not getting involved with Ian and his beautiful face and his beautiful body and his quick wits.

_**I'm hoping you'll make an exception. Cinema?** _

Fuuuuuuck. Fuck fuck.

**_dont have enough change to_ **

**_Let me take you then. I have tips from last night_ **

No, Mickey thought. No, you're not doing this. No you're not getting this boy. Absolutely not.

_**sure. what time.** _

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, the song Mickey fell asleep to was "Outlaws" by Dancing Lotus which is a great song that kindof reminds me of our little thug muffin however I didn't include it because you know... It just seems a bit product placement-y which is annoying as bitchtits.
> 
> Title is also taken from that song. No seriously, go listen to that song. It's only short.


End file.
